Tuesday, July 19, 2016

"But What If They Don't Like Me."

It runs deeper than the job.

We don't want to admit it to ourselves but we spend a fair amount of time worrying what other people think about what we say, what we do and who we are.

To some it can be crippling and derail an otherwise promising life and career.

We'd like to think we're evaluated solely on how we perform. If the numbers line up then we're okay.

Deep down inside we think otherwise.

Like a self conscious adolescent we pick and fuss at the emotional pimple that appears larger than life to us and almost insignificant to most people.

Most people are struggling to like themselves

I could sit here, throw a few platitudes at you and hit publish.

You've heard them  all before.

Indulge me for a moment, okay?

A year or so ago I made the choice to be open and vulnerable in a blog posting. I wanted  to let people know that no matter who you are, it is okay to be yourself as long as you are honest and sincere.

I can't recall the context but I talked about how my wife Joan has offered me a tremendous amount of support when my business was just starting and things were a bit shaky. Bills were coming due and I was over analyzing every decision I'd ever made. I was judging myself and the verdict was harsh and OMG what are other people gonna think about me!

I'm sitting at my desk staring off into space and Joan walks into my office

You worry about your business and you let me worry about the bills. 

I hit publish and a day later I received a scathing rebuke from a reader. They told me I wasn't much of a business person if I couldn't pay my bills and I shouldn't be handing out business advice.

It stung. It hurt. I went into self judgment mode big time, pulled into my shell and closed the curtains.

And then I saw the meme I posted at the beginning of this blog and it dawned on me the person that blasted me had some issues to deal with themselves.

They didn't like being reminded of them.

I don't either.

As that famous philosopher Popeye The Sailor Man once said

I am's what I am and that's all that I am's

I am learning to be at peace with that. 

And you?