Pages

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Gifts



She pretends it's not important to her.

At age 10 it's all about being nonchalant, but the first place she looks  when she enters my office is my bulletin board.

Since she was 3 she's spent a week with us each summer. She left  this note when she was 5. Her dad came to pick her up early on a Friday morning, I'd already headed out for the day and didn't notice it until I returned late that afternoon.

It sat in the middle of my desk, where I'd be sure to notice it.

"I will miss you." 

Scrawled with a red crayon on a post it note, the edges were wrinkled where she'd tried to hold the paper down. 

It's been on my bulletin board ever since. 

When I start feeling smug and full of myself I swivel in my chair and look at it for a few seconds.

"Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" 1 Corinthians 1:20

There is a genuine sense of vulnerability in that simple, heartfelt  scrawl.

It says don't be afraid to admit that you need  other people in you life. 

It says that it's okay to admit you don't know everything and that collaboration beats the snot out of competition. 

It says there will be those days of weakness, doubt, and indecision.

It says it's okay to show your warts and your own weaknesses. 

It says you are loved and treasured and valued.

What my grand daughter taught me was: When you want to bite your tongue because you're afraid of what the person staring back at you might think, go ahead and tell them you'll miss them.

The worst they can do is run away.

Namaste dear ones

Friday, December 18, 2015

An Instrument of Your Peace..... Bonus Blog


I have a favor to ask. 

Would you share this posting?

You see, while I normally put the "P" in positive I am growing weary of peoples attempts at humor at the expense of other people.

I didn't know poverty, addiction, emotional illness and hopelessness were fodder for an acerbic tongue on social media. I'm speaking of the postings both written and in picture that poke fun at people who aren't, well lets be hones here, people who aren't like US.

On top of being really good looking I read minds.

Yes, I count myself among those who have backed away from a person who doesn't seem "quite right."

Yes, I've laughed at people and made jokes.

I did all those things.

Then, like Paul of the road to Damascus, God gave me my own form of blindness in the manner of barley being able to walk without pain and agony for close to three years. Then, those who moved haltingly and in pain, those whose balance was compromised, those who suffered from anxiety and depression because there was no "cure"...............

Yeah, "them people." - I was one of them and the view I saw from the other side wasn't pleasant.

The people who beep at you in a parking lot and roll down their window and yell "What the hell is your problem?!?!" simply because you are walking slowly and gingerly.

The people in the grocery store who looked at you like you have three heads and moved away quickly when your whole left leg goes numb and resembles a noodle and you are left leaning against the end cap display because if you move you're gonna fall down. You find yourself alone really quick.

The folks who stayed away because they didnt want to be reminded.

You wanna cry out "It's not my fault! I didn't ask to be like this."

God blessed me. I see than now. I see that he gave me that opportunity to learn  there is nothing funny about suffering. He humbled me - big time, and I'll tell you while today the lesson was learned, thank-you-very-much, it was no fun.

I could go on and on.

I'll share something with you I say each  morning as I clear the sleep from my head and fumble about the bedroom getting dressed.

It's the Prayer of St Francis.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.


I'm not ready to ascend into heaven quite yet. 

Paul said it best in his first letter to Timothy

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst.

I have my faults and they are many

The picture I snagged from Facebook at the beginning of this posting says it best. God only asks for our hearts, nothing grandiose or spectacular, just love and understanding for everything and everyone we encounter

It's a full time and a life time job. 

Now.......... as Dr. Laura always says Go do the right thing!

Namaste


Wednesday, December 16, 2015

In Transition




I musta started this posting at least 10 times in the past 3 days. I'd type 5 lines or so and look at the page and shake my head. 

Who the hell wrote this?

Nothing seemed to resonate, so I'd delete and go on about my business. 

My daily appointment with God comes somewhere between 2 and 230 AM each morning. No matter how early or late I retire; no matter how many practices and remedies I employ - I still wake up every night at roughly the same time. 

I used to just lie there and get frustrated. Now, I figure if I'm awake I might as well be somewhat productive, ya know? 

I told God the problem I was having writing this weeks posting. In a surreptitious way I was probing to see if His fine hand was involved and I was in the middle of another one of those life lessons He is so fond of using. 

What do you want to say?

I told Him

Okay, so go back a year and look at where you were at and then look at where you are now. Did everything you'd planned on come to fruition?What changed  and what stayed the same? What do you know now that you didn't know then? 

I'll spare you the details. 

Here is what I learned: 

  • My life is constantly changing and evolving and presenting me with all sorts of opportunities. If I'm alert enough to take advantage of those opportunities I am going to grow and and be more happy and successful. 


  • Even when I do not take advantage of those opportunities there has always been a lesson to be learned and if I can somehow struggle through the disappointment, pain and frustration I'm better for having had the experience

  • Sometimes the best thing you can do is sit and be quiet. Curl up in the corner and peek out for a bit. So silent and so quiet that people will wonder where you've gone!

I have come to believe in transitions. I have come to believe that in a very fluid way our lives move from one scenario to another and often we don'y catch the subtleties until we are smack dab in the middle of a new experience.


This is my last posting of 2015. I am taking the remainder of the year to prepare for next year. I do not know what it's going to bring. I don't know where I'll go and what opportunities will reveal themselves along the way. 

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!


Do not misunderstand. My head is teeming with thoughts, ideas and new adventures, but like my cup of green tea I drink each morning, I prefer to simply savor it for the next few weeks and look forward to what's next.



You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. but mostly they're darked. 
But mostly they're darked. 
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! 
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?



Quotes for this blog are from the Dr Seuss book Oh, the Places You'll Go. 



Monday, December 7, 2015

Sounds of Silence



Nothing's been going where I wanted it to go these past couple of weeks!

Do you have any idea as to why? 

It's like every road I walk down hits a dead end. 

I scribbled something on a napkin and slide it across the table.

 Psalm 46:10

When you get a chance look it up. 

I took the napkin back and added in quotations "Been there, done that."

Just so you don't feel alone. 

Rick shot me one of those "What am I paying you for if I have to look this stuff up myself" looks.

It says "Be still and know that I am God."

And, how does that help me get to where I want to go? 

Lemme tell you a story...........

Years ago I met a gentleman of the Hari Krishna faith. I asked him for some wisdom. This is what he shared with me:

Where you are, is where you are supposed to be, right now!

Rick just stared at me

Suppose you got something before you were ready or equipped to use it to its full potential. I mean what if you knew from he moment you touched it that it was going to fail.?

I'd pass

Exactly! Sometimes we have to wait until the moments right. How do they say it "Until the planets are aligned ?"

You're telling me to be patient. 

I'm telling you that maybe, just maybe something better and more effective then what you're looking for may be right around the corner but as long as you and I are making so much noise we'll never hear or see it coming.




Be still, and know that I am God. 



The photo was taken by me in Seal Beach, California in February of 2006.



#soundsofsilence